Have you ever made peace with certain parts of your past that you smile? You smile the greatest smile of your life because the situation (whatever it was) can finally be laid to rest.
That was my day today. Sometimes things happen between people that we can’t explain. Sometimes that situation can get nasty as hell. Cooler heads usually prevail….in a few days…weeks….years. We are far from perfect but, we are human. Therefore as humans, we eventually have our own epiphanies and things have a way of ‘coming to a full circle‘ as they say.
Some of you must be asking ‘what does that even mean?’ To me, that means the history of the situation ends up coming back around to you at a point in life (deemed by the universe) where you are ready to face it and move on. Sometimes it may mean a few more tears or screams may emerge, but it will never be at the intensity that it once was. That’s how you know you’ve grown as a person from that situation and your former self. Despite the history I’ve had with some people, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity of facing these people again to deal. No one said we had to be friends at the end of it all. No no no. Please don’t let me fool you in thinking it’s always going to end well. Sometimes it’s going to end the same, nasty way it did last time, however, those involved might now be more aware of the situation and better able to say their peace/last words about things. I know I have. In the past few months I’ve been blessed with crossing paths again with people from my own past. As such, we’ve been able to speak on situations and call it a day. Some people I no longer have contact with, while with others, we’ve become better friends or at least understand how to play nice. I must say, moving forward, being positive and no longer holding onto my past demons has been a refreshing welcome to my better self. There’s still some people out there (who are probably reading this now) that I have yet to cross paths with and complete the same/similar exchange. I know one in particular won’t be pretty. Unfortunately, that person never got out of her never ending, dark cycle and I can’t judge. I’ve been there. I also know you have to want better for yourself because you value yourself.
Valuing yourself – looking that person (you) in the mirror and loving that person fully is the biggest hurdle to get over…… and that’s just the start.
For some years I was lost in other people’s misery which attracted me to them as friends. Combined with my own misery, it wasn’t good for the long term; only good for the right now. For some years I too was stuck thinking I didn’t deserve more even when people told me I did. A lot of lonely nights, tears, self reflection and reading helped me get to a point where I had enough of the person I was becoming. I was lost.
Healing from past experiences is the best way to start improving yourself and become a better you. It’s not going to be easy. Nothing ever is. That’s what makes finding that better you even more rewarding.
My advice for when having exchanges with past people is to keep a cool head. Put yourself in that person’s shoes. Listen to them and apologize. Lastly, MEAN every word you say. No one said you have to be perfect. We all have skeletons to deal with. Those skeletons are our crosses to bare as we get older. I don’t mind. It’s how you deal with each and every experience and move forward from it that count the most. Do you agree?
~ MC NADZZZ
P.s. As I was writing this blog, I found the perfect picture on “The Secret” Facebook page.