With 10 days until my birthday, I can’t just say another year has passed. What I can say is WOW! Another year has passed son!!!! What a year it has been. Growth, mistakes, happiness, happenings, hard times and great freaking times. My life has been eventful this year leading up to my birthday and I know there’s still more to come! What I have learned about myself is amazing. Maybe reading this you too will find something you learned about yourself and recognize your growth. Don’t beat yourself up over bullshit, crap you did or choices you made. At the time it was right for you. Shit happens…let’s keep it moving. At least I hope you feel that way. If not….maybe my words will bring you some comfort.
Birthday Reflections – here goes…..
- Finding my life match has been hard. People say they’re real, but some really aren’t. The very few guys that have crossed my path I, unfortunately, had no romantic chemistry with or it was just a dud 🙁 I find when men say they’re real…they really are not. Being honest takes balls…shit…. I still struggle with this sometimes, but not everyone is REAL – they just talk BIG. There’s a huge difference. Talking big doesn’t impress me. Just be you. Simply you. I’m being simply me. Yes I know I’m not getting any younger (I hear this shit all the time now), but I am definitely not in a rush. I know what I want or what I’m seeking in a partner. A few months ago this guy said to me “it’s simple what you want. You want life, love, laughs, respect. You want someone to give you that and you will give them your world”. He was dead on with his observation. I’m in the mind frame of “let’s grow together”; not fit everyone’s stereotype of what a relationship is because that is all they know, grew up with or are currently in. Remember, misery loves company. Relationships take work no doubt about it, but REAL, EPIC love takes heart. So……let’s do this! Now…. if it was only so easy LOL. What I tell myself is this…..”he’s” on his way to me and I’m on my way to him. So we’ll soon connect. #OneDay
- Family always has a way of surprising me. It’s been lesson after lesson for us. What I have learned is that under severe pressure we get through it. When comes “crunch time” we keep this family train moving. We are “go getters”. It’s pretty much us to the end no matter what. No matter how frustrated we get with each other we do what we gotta do – together. With age, choices, maturity and time, it’s taken us all a while to get here. As with any family it’s a learning experience especially when circumstances change. What we have learned as a family is that we can’t depend on anyone else but each other. It gives outsiders, aka extended family, a reason to talk ABOUT you not WITH you. You can keep that negative shit right there son. Aint nobody got time fuh dat! If you aint positive you aint rolling. Simple.
- Work is always work. Regular, full-time, “working for da man” work is work. I’m still learning and growing. Situations come up here and there that are really testing who I am professionally. I’m hoping I continue to grow from that. It’s either sink or swim in that environment. It aint easy all the time, but I like the money. It keeps the lights on! As for the work that is my passion for radio, music and MCing…well what a roller-coaster this shit has been. It’s on the move to say the least!! The train left that station and we’re on a ride. I don’t know where it’s taking me to, but I like not knowing. I really don’t need to know; I need to continue to do. I keep grinding working MC gigs on the side and recording my pre-recorded bits for air on VIBE 105.5 FM in Toronto. Even if I don’t get to the big grandiose radio job, I still get to do what I love and this little piece of my passion makes me so utterly happy. The feedback I have received from family, friends and strangers has been inspiring. It’s been honest feedback! It’s not that it’s negative, but it’s feedback delivered to me in such a manner that I can work with, continue to improve my voice and still LOVE what I’m doing. This is my passion. It always has been along with music. I can NOW combine two of my greatest loves in a marriage. I allowed my passion to die for so many, many years. It’s been a long road getting back here. I feel like I’m really living. What is small to you is HUGE for me. So whatever it is that you’re doing now and you consider that huge…well….when I get there it’s gonna make me feel OVER the moon happy that I will probably cry with joy! #DorkAtHeart
- If I could speak to my future self 5 years from now what would I say? Oh shit in 5 years I’ll be 38 – DAMN!!!! Here’s what I would say…..
- Dear Nadzzz, I would hope you are still working in radio and LIVING your passion at this point. You worked so hard and I am so proud of you for that. Dwelling on negativity was never a good look on you. You’re too damn happy for crap like that! LOL. I hope you received your EPIC love by now with a fantastic hubby and 3 (or more) kiddies running around all over the place, doing artistic stuff and being happy, loud and funny as hell. Basically mini yous. This is what I hope for you at 38. I hope you’re still blogging to the world. This was another passion of yours and despite not having 1 million subscribers you have people who read your words and take heed to the words you write. I want to say Happy 38th Birthday! Keep positive and keep going. More so for your children. Show them that dreams do come true an being your own boss is a better way to live. Providing a service to people that helps in their everyday lives can be more rewarding than a regular 9 to 5. I hope you continue to teach them to inspire and aspire. Without brains, beauty fades. You know by now that you don’t always have to be the centre of attention; you just let your work and your good spirit speak for itself. Accolades don’t make a person. We’ve all made mistakes and done wrong to people. As mom has always said, “you won’t be the first or the last“. As Dad says “follow you gut because your gut is always right“. I hope you have grown so strong that you are the bionic woman now. The battles of the past are but mere scars to remind you of where you came from. Continue to take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise and SMILE everyday. Keep on Keeping on!! Love your past self, Nadzzz.
If you had a chance to talk to yourself in 5 years, what would you say? If you have kids, have you ever thought about writing a letter to them? What would you write? Think about it….why not write a letter to yourself now?
I hope more of my dreams come true. I know it aint gonna happen sitting on my ass that’s for damn sure. So in the meantime, on this, the week before my 33rd birthday, I wish more life, epic love and the seeing of dreams coming true to myself!
#Jamaica2016 #ArtistInterviewsSoonCome #MCTingzzContinue #ExlporingToronto #ExploringTheWorld #TacklingBucketList